


Just The Way You Are

by Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, post 2x02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 02:27:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20667797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/pseuds/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97
Summary: Set after s02e02 "Rose". Contains spoilers."Okay, Rachel. This is getting out of hand - we need to tell Dick."Gar spoke from his place on her bed as Rachel studied her reflection in her mirror. There was another set of claw marks on her back, right over the previous one that hasn't fully healed yet. And the new one was bigger, the cuts were deeper, more painful and bleeding..





	Just The Way You Are

**Author's Note:**

> After watching 2x02 I just had to write this. I got really worried about Rachel when those cuts appeared, and of course she's not going to tell him. It's a set up for an amazing storyline in my opinion. And the things she said to Gar, how she's Dick's 'A' student and she doesn't want to let him down - my girl puts this pressure on herself because she thinks perfection is expected from her. Which is totally not the case. They will have to have a conversation about it, but I'm afraid we're gonna have to wait for that. Anyway, enjoy this little oneshot and as always, I invite you to check my other Dick and Rachel related fics.

"Okay, Rachel. This is getting out of hand - we  _ need _ to tell Dick."

Gar spoke from his place on her bed as Rachel studied her reflection in her mirror. There was another set of claw marks on her back, right over the previous one that hasn't fully healed yet. And the new one was bigger, the cuts were deeper, more painful and  _ bleeding _ .

"No." she replied obstinately while turning back to him. "You promised me you won't tell him."

Gar found out by accident - they were watching a movie in the living room one night while Dick was training downstairs with Jason. Rachel dozed off and… this thing, whatever it was, happened. Gar wanted to go to Dick immediately, but she begged him not to do it.

That was a week ago, two days after they met Rose. This incident has been happening almost every night since, always leaving behind another wound on her body.

"But you're fucking bleeding!" he got up from the bed and approached her. "It hurts you so much you can barely move. You need medical attention."

Rachel sighed heavily.

"You think I don't know that? But I can't tell him, Gar. _ I can't _ ."

"So what?" he asked, frustrated. "You're just gonna wait until you bleed out? Or will you stop sleeping so it doesn't happen anymore? What are you so scared of? It's better you tell him now, than if you were to pass out from exhaustion and pain in front of him."

Rachel sat down on the edge of her bed and hid her face in her hands. When she lifted it to look back at him after few seconds, her eyes were filled with tears.

"I can't do that to him." she breathed out. Gar's eyes softened and he sat down next to her. "I told him I'm getting better with my powers. And I am. He had seen the progress. I swore I had it handled." She paused to think for a moment. "I am his 'A' student, the Teacher's Pet, you could say. And I know it's not fair when it comes to you and Jason. But there's this… expectation on me, do you understand? I need to figure this out on my own. That's why we  _ cannot _ tell Dick about this."

"Tell me about what?"

Both teenagers turned abruptly towards the door, their eyes wide. Dick was leaning on the doorframe with his arms folded over his chest, a questioning look in his eyes. Rachel immediately curled into herself, trying to hide her face from him, because she knew he could read her like an open book. 

"Nothing, really. It's stupid…"

"There's a situation. With her powers." Gar cut in as he got up from the bed, before she could even realise what he was doing.

"Gar!"

"And she doesn't want to tell you because she thinks she can handle this, but it's getting worse and we both know she's too stubborn to admit it."

Rachel froze. Dick looked over at her. His eyes were soft, clouded with concern, but his body visibly tensed. She sighed. She knew Gar's intentions were good, she couldn't blame him for that. But she couldn't help but feel a little betrayed.

"Rachel, what's going on?" 

Dick tried to sound calm, but she could feel the range of emotions hidden behind it. He didn't want to corner her, but at the same time he demanded answers. 

Gar went over to her and whispered.

"Please, tell him. Or I will. Either way, he needs to know."

She looked between the two and took a deep breath. Then she turned around and without a word went over to her mirror. Her hands were shaky, but she slowly lifted her shirt on her back, revealing the wounds underneath.

She watched Dick in the mirror. His eyes widened and his face went pale. He approached her slowly, and Rachel noticed that his movement somehow lost it's natural balance. He stumbled, his knees unsteady. But he tried to keep himself collected.

_ For me _ , she thought.  _ He's trying to be strong for me _ .

She didn't dare to turn around. Instead she kept observing him in the mirror.

His outstretched hand hovered for a moment over the cuts, but he didn't touch her. She expected him to say something, ask questions. But Dick stayed quiet. Their eyes met in the reflection and for a second Rachel stopped breathing. She had never seen him so shaken, so…  _ scared _ before. And before she could say anything, he turned around and stormed out of the room. 

Gar shot her a confused look.

"What the hell just happened?"

Rachel shook her head.

"I don't know." she went back to her bed. "See? This is why I didn't want to tell him."

Then they heard hurried footsteps in the hallway and few seconds later Dick came back with a first aid kit in his hand. He put it on the bed and sat down. 

"Turn around." he ordered. His face was tense and pale but his voice remained soft and quiet. "I'll take care of this."

She did as she was told, changing her position slowly so her back was to him. She didn't want to admit it before, but every move hurt like hell. She carefully lifted her shirt up again, giving him access to her wounds. 

Dick worked in silence, taking his time to treat the cuts properly. He cleaned them, applied some medication and put on gauze dressing. This entire time Gar stood by her side with his hand on her shoulder in a silent act of support. 

When Dick was done, he closed the kit and gave it to Gar. He didn't say anything, but the boy got the message.  _ Could you please leave us alone for a moment?  _ Gar nodded slowly and left the room, closing the door behind him. 

Still, Rachel didn't turn around. 

The silence in the room was deafening. Guess neither of them had any idea how to start this conversation. 

"How did this happen?" Dick whispered slowly with fear in his voice so audible it made Rachel flinch. She didn't say anything. She didn't know where to start,  _ how _ to start. Dick moved closer to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Rach, talk to me, please."

She took another deep breath and turned to him. She was scared he's gonna be mad, but his eyes were filled with concern, his gaze soft and pleading. 

"It's… it's happening when I sleep." she started. "I don't know how to explain it. I always wake up scared and confused, but if I dream about anything, I don't remember it. And I always wake up with this." She pointed at her back. Then she reached for her phone. "Last night I asked Gar to stay with me, and this is what he recorded." She pressed PLAY and gave it to him. He watched the video in silence. Once. Twice. Three times. Pausing. Looking. Analyzing. 

"Has this ever happened to you before?" he asked when he gave her the phone back. 

"No… not like that, anyway. Back before all of this, when I still lived with my mom… She ended up with scratches just like these, anytime I've had a nightmare. She tried to hide it from me - she was a nurse, she knew how to treat it. But I always knew. Her constant prayers, locks on my bedroom door and windows, medication… Nothing helped." 

That seemed to scare Dick even more. She had never shared any of that with him. She had a messed up childhood and she didn't like to talk about it. 

"When did it start?"

"The first scratches appeared the day Rose showed up."

Dick scrunched his eyebrows.

"That was over a week ago."

Rachel bowed her head.

"Yeah…"

Dick was silent for a moment.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Oh there it was. The question she was terrified of the most.

She didn't answer. She couldn't even bring herself to look at his face. She wasn't ready to see his disappointment. She didn't want to witness how he realises his entire effort just went to waste. 

"Rachel, why didn't you tell me?" Dick repeated his question and the tone of his voice surprised her. He wasn't angry, or disappointed. He sounded… sad. He wasn't demanding an answer, he was pleading,  _ begging _ for it. 

"I… I didn't want to let you down." she mumbled, still not looking at him.

"Let me down? What do you mean?"

Rachel finally raised her head to look at him and took a deep breath, but it came with difficulty. Her throat was tight, she was on the verge of tears. 

"You put so much time and effort into our training, especially  _ my _ training. It makes you so happy when I do something right, that I make progress, I get more control. And until now I felt like I was. But the truth is, ever since our encounter with Trigon… I don't feel like myself anymore. It's like… like I'm losing myself. But it's so important to you to make sure that I stay strong, that I understand my powers… I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to think that what you're doing for me is not working. I wanted to prove to you I can handle my powers. Besides, the 'A' Student can't fail."

Rachel wasn't sure if it was a good explanation. She wasn't sure of anything right now, to be honest. Her own thoughts and emotions were confusing.

Dick was silent. His eyes were glued to her face and she crumbled under his gaze. She looked down, trying to hide the tears welling up in her eyes. Her blue hair fell down on her face as she bowed her head and took another shaky breath.

Dick got up from her bed and went over to the window. He stood there for a moment, his back to her. He ran his hand through his hair, as if in frustration, then turned back to her.

"Rachel, you- you really think I expect  _ perfection _ from you?" 

She lifted her head slightly and glanced at him.

"Well, don't you?"

"No!" he shook his head. "Of course not!"

"Then why are you spending more time with me than Gar or Jason, both during and outside of training? Why are you more focused on me than them? Watching my progress more closely?"

He went back to her and sat down, taking her hands in his.

"I'm doing this, because I want you to be safe." he answered. Rachel kept her eyes on their joined hands, tracing the movement of his thumb drawing soothing circles on her palm. "I want to make sure you know how to protect yourself if something happens and I'm not around."

"Isn't that the whole point of our training? To be prepared in case of danger?"

"Yes. But with you it's different."

That made her look at him.

"Different  _ how _ ?"

Dick smiled softly and lifted one hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. 

"You're my little girl." he whispered and his eyes sparkled with affection. He left his hand on her cheek and stroke it gently, making her lean into his touch. "Yes, I might be playing favorites, but I don't care. You are my priority, Rachel. My responsibility. Your safety and happiness will always come first. I need you to know how to protect yourself if I can't be there to protect you - although I'm trying to make sure that doesn't happen again. But I don't need you to be perfect at it. You didn't ask for those powers, but you have them, and you need to learn how to use them. And that will take time. It's okay if you struggle with them. That's why I'm here - to help you through it. And I failed you. I made you think you couldn't come to me with this. I'm sorry."

"That's exactly what I was trying to avoid." Rachel said sadly as her head fell down again. "I didn't want you to feel like you failed as a teacher. Because you didn't. I'm the problem. Now that I know where my powers came from, it's even harder to get a hold on them. I… I don't know who I am anymore. I thought that by trying hard, trying to be perfect, I'll find it again. But I'm not sure if it's working. I wanted to be a perfect fighter, a perfect student, a perfect friend. I wanted to be perfect for  _ you _ ."

"You don't have to be perfect for me." Dick whispered softly, still brushing her cheek with his thumb. "I love you just the way you are."

Rachel felt like the air was pushed out of her lungs. She looked up at him with wide eyes and saw the softest, most affectionate expression she had ever seen him wear. His eyes were filled with warmth and love and there was a faint smile dancing on his lips.

"You- you do?"

His smile grew when he chuckled.

"Is it that shocking?"

"It's just… No one had ever said that to me before." she admitted. Dick lifted his other hand and cupped her face, locking his eyes with hers.

"Then let me repeat this. I love you, Rachel. Just the way you are. You don't have to change or improve anything for me. I'll be here for you no matter what. You can always come to me, with anything. And I promise you, whatever is happening to you - we will figure this out, together. As a family."

Rachel smiled through the tears. His every word filled her with such joy and happiness. She couldn't believe it was really happening. He loved her. He really loved her.

"As a family." she repeated after him, the words making her heart skip a beat. They will get through this together. Because that's what families do. 

"Come here, honey." Dick whispered and pulled her into his arms. Rachel immediately wrapped herself around him, snuggling into his shoulder. He held her as tight as he could while being careful about her wounds. They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the moment. His embrace was so comfy and warm that Rachel felt herself dozing off. She looked at the clock on her desk - it was almost 11pm. She didn't realise it was this late. She tried to resist a yawn, but failed. Dick ran his hand through her hair gently.

"It's late." he whispered. "Lay down, you should get some rest."

She untangled herself from him and slipped under the covers, letting him tuck her in. Dick leaned down and pressed a soft, loving kiss to her forehead, right above the gem. Rachel smiled and closed her eyes at the touch. 

"Goodnight, Rach." he whispered to her ear and got up to leave. In this moment a familiar feeling of dread came over her and she quickly grabbed his hand.

"Wait." she said, making him stop and turn around. "What if it happens again?"

Dick sat back down on the edge of her bed.

"I can stay if you want."

"Will you?"

He gave her another smile.

"Of course. Move over."

She scooted to the side, making a room for him as he laid down next to her. Once they were both under the covers, Dick instantly pulled her to him again, so she could snuggle to his side and rest her head on his chest. He left another kiss on the top of her head as he wrapped arms around her small frame and pulled her closer. 

"Better now?"

Rachel smiled into his shirt.

"Much better."

"Good. Sleep now, sweetheart."

"Okay… And, Dick?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."

***

In the morning Rachel woke up still wrapped safely in Dick's arms, with her back pressed against his chest and his face in her hair. The faint sound of snoring right behind her ear made her giggle. She didn't take him for the snoring type. 

She was well rested. There was no new scratches on her body, she could feel it. She slept safely through the night. 

Dick moved in his sleep, mumbling softly under his breath, something that sounded like her name and coffee. He squeezed her tighter and snuggled his face deeper into her hair. His breath evened out, meaning he was still asleep. Rachel smiled. He was here, just like he said he would. Everything was going to be okay


End file.
